How does the “Save The Marriage System” suggest couples handle the initial excitement of marriage?

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September 7, 2024

How does the “Save The Marriage System” suggest couples handle the initial excitement of marriage?

The initial excitement of marriage, often referred to as the “honeymoon phase,” is a time of joy, passion, and optimism for most couples. However, as this excitement begins to naturally fade, couples may find themselves facing the realities of married life. The “Save The Marriage System” by Dr. Lee H. Baucom acknowledges this transition and provides strategies to help couples handle the initial excitement while preparing for the long-term stability of their relationship. Below is a detailed exploration of how the system suggests couples navigate this phase.

1. Embrace the Joy, but Set Realistic Expectations

The “Save The Marriage System” advises couples to fully enjoy the excitement and happiness that comes with the early stages of marriage, but it also emphasizes the importance of setting realistic expectations for the future.

Advice:

  • Celebrate the Honeymoon Phase: Dr. Baucom encourages couples to embrace and celebrate the honeymoon phase. This is a special time for bonding, creating memories, and deepening the connection. Couples should savor this period without worrying too much about what lies ahead.
  • Set Realistic Expectations: While enjoying the excitement, Dr. Baucom advises couples to be mindful that the intensity of these feelings may not last forever. Setting realistic expectations helps prevent disappointment or disillusionment when the initial excitement naturally fades. Couples should understand that the love and connection they feel will evolve into a deeper, more mature relationship over time.

2. Build a Strong Foundation During the Excitement

The early excitement of marriage provides a unique opportunity to build a strong foundation for the future. The “Save The Marriage System” suggests using this period to establish positive habits and practices that will sustain the relationship over time.

Advice:

  • Establish Healthy Communication: Dr. Baucom advises couples to take advantage of the positive energy in the early stages to establish healthy communication patterns. This is the time to practice open, honest, and constructive conversations, setting the tone for how the couple will communicate throughout their marriage.
  • Create Shared Goals: The system suggests that couples should use this time to discuss and set shared goals for their future. Whether it’s about career aspirations, financial planning, or family planning, establishing common goals early on helps align the couple’s vision and strengthens their partnership.

3. Balance Excitement with Practical Planning

While the excitement of a new marriage is exhilarating, Dr. Baucom emphasizes the importance of balancing this excitement with practical planning for the future.

Advice:

  • Discuss Finances Early: One of the key areas where practical planning is essential is in financial matters. The “Save The Marriage System” advises couples to have open and honest discussions about their finances early in the marriage. This includes setting a budget, discussing financial goals, and being transparent about debts and spending habits.
  • Plan for Potential Challenges: Dr. Baucom encourages couples to think ahead about potential challenges they may face in their marriage. This doesn’t mean dampening the excitement but rather being prepared for the realities of life together. Discussing how to handle conflicts, career changes, or family dynamics helps build resilience and prepares the couple for the long-term.

4. Maintain the Spark While Building a Deeper Connection

The “Save The Marriage System” recognizes that the initial excitement can be a powerful force in a marriage, but it also emphasizes the importance of transitioning from this phase into a deeper, more enduring connection.

Advice:

  • Keep the Romance Alive: Dr. Baucom advises couples to actively work on maintaining the romance even as the initial excitement fades. This can include planning regular date nights, surprising each other with small gestures of love, and continuing to prioritize physical and emotional intimacy.
  • Deepen Emotional Intimacy: The system suggests that as the initial excitement begins to settle, couples should focus on deepening their emotional intimacy. This involves engaging in deeper conversations, sharing vulnerabilities, and building a strong emotional bond that will sustain the relationship over time.

5. Avoid Common Pitfalls of the Honeymoon Phase

The “Save The Marriage System” also warns couples about common pitfalls that can occur during the honeymoon phase and how to avoid them.

Advice:

  • Don’t Ignore Red Flags: Dr. Baucom advises couples not to overlook potential issues or red flags during the honeymoon phase simply because everything feels perfect. It’s important to address any concerns early on, rather than allowing them to grow into larger problems later.
  • Avoid Unrealistic Comparisons: The system cautions against comparing your relationship to others, especially during the honeymoon phase when everything may seem idyllic. Dr. Baucom reminds couples that every relationship is unique, and it’s important to focus on building your own marriage rather than measuring it against unrealistic ideals.

6. Transitioning from Excitement to Routine

As the initial excitement of marriage begins to give way to the routine of daily life, the “Save The Marriage System” provides strategies to help couples make this transition smoothly.

Advice:

  • Embrace Routine as Stability: Dr. Baucom encourages couples to view the routine aspects of marriage not as a loss of excitement but as a foundation of stability and security. Routine can provide comfort and predictability, which are important for a long-lasting relationship.
  • Keep the Relationship Dynamic: The system also advises couples to keep their relationship dynamic even as they settle into routines. This can include trying new activities together, setting new goals, and continuing to grow both individually and as a couple.

7. Focusing on Long-Term Commitment

Finally, the “Save The Marriage System” emphasizes the importance of focusing on the long-term commitment of marriage, even as the initial excitement fades.

Advice:

  • Reaffirm Your Commitment: Dr. Baucom suggests that couples should regularly reaffirm their commitment to each other, especially as they move past the honeymoon phase. This could be through small rituals, regular check-ins, or simply expressing gratitude and love for each other.
  • Understand that Love Evolves: The system highlights that love in marriage evolves over time. The passion and excitement of the early days are just one aspect of love, which will deepen and mature as the relationship progresses. Dr. Baucom advises couples to embrace this evolution as part of the journey of a long-term partnership.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the “Save The Marriage System” by Dr. Lee H. Baucom provides thoughtful and practical advice for couples on how to handle the initial excitement of marriage while preparing for a lasting and fulfilling relationship. By embracing the joy of the honeymoon phase, setting realistic expectations, building a strong foundation, balancing excitement with practical planning, maintaining the spark, avoiding common pitfalls, transitioning smoothly into routine, and focusing on long-term commitment, couples can navigate the early stages of marriage with confidence and set themselves up for a successful future together.

The system’s strategies help couples to not only enjoy the excitement of the early days but also to lay the groundwork for a deep, enduring connection that will sustain their marriage over the decades to come.