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What does “Save The Marriage System” say about the importance of physical touch in marriage?

In the “Save The Marriage System” by Dr. Andrew Baucom, physical touch is highlighted as a crucial element in maintaining a strong, healthy, and emotionally connected marriage. Physical touch is not merely about sexual intimacy; it encompasses all forms of physical connection that convey love, support, and emotional closeness between partners. Below is a detailed exploration of what the system says about the importance of physical touch in marriage.

1. Foundation of Emotional Connection

• Building Emotional Intimacy: Dr. Baucom emphasizes that physical touch is fundamental in building and maintaining emotional intimacy in a marriage. The “Save The Marriage System” suggests that regular physical contact, such as holding hands, hugging, or sitting close together, reinforces the emotional bond between partners. This physical connection helps to create a sense of security, trust, and closeness, which are essential for a strong emotional relationship.
• Non-Verbal Communication: The system highlights that physical touch is a powerful form of non-verbal communication. Dr. Baucom explains that through touch, partners can express affection, comfort, and reassurance without the need for words. This form of communication is particularly important in moments when verbal expression may be difficult or when words are insufficient to convey deep emotions.

2. Reducing Stress and Anxiety

• Calming Effect of Touch: Physical touch has been shown to have a calming effect, reducing stress and anxiety in both partners. The “Save The Marriage System” advises that regular physical contact helps to lower levels of stress hormones like cortisol, promoting relaxation and emotional well-being. Dr. Baucom suggests that this calming effect is essential in managing the stresses of daily life and maintaining a peaceful, connected relationship.
• Providing Comfort and Reassurance: The system also emphasizes the role of physical touch in providing comfort and reassurance during difficult times. Dr. Baucom advises that when one partner is experiencing stress, anxiety, or sadness, a simple touch, such as a hug or a hand on the shoulder, can offer immense comfort and support. This physical connection reassures the partner that they are not alone, strengthening the emotional bond.

3. Enhancing Relationship Satisfaction

• Reinforcing Love and Affection: Dr. Baucom highlights that physical touch is a key way to reinforce love and affection in a marriage. The “Save The Marriage System” suggests that regular physical affection helps to keep the romantic spark alive and ensures that both partners feel loved and appreciated. This consistent expression of affection through touch contributes to overall relationship satisfaction and happiness.
• Maintaining a Strong Physical Bond: The system also emphasizes that maintaining a strong physical bond is crucial for long-term relationship satisfaction. Dr. Baucom explains that when partners engage in regular physical touch, it helps to keep the relationship vibrant and connected, preventing emotional and physical distance from developing over time.

4. Supporting Physical and Emotional Health

• Promoting Physical Health: The “Save The Marriage System” suggests that physical touch can positively impact physical health by promoting the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone.” Dr. Baucom advises that oxytocin has various health benefits, including lowering blood pressure, reducing pain, and improving immune function. Regular physical touch, therefore, supports not only the emotional health of the relationship but also the physical well-being of both partners.
• Boosting Emotional Well-Being: The system also highlights that physical touch plays a significant role in boosting emotional well-being. Dr. Baucom explains that when partners engage in affectionate touch, it increases feelings of happiness, reduces feelings of loneliness, and enhances overall emotional health. This boost in emotional well-being contributes to a more positive and resilient relationship.

5. Creating a Sense of Security

• Building Trust Through Touch: Physical touch is closely linked to feelings of trust and security in a relationship. The “Save The Marriage System” emphasizes that when partners regularly engage in physical contact, it builds a sense of safety and trust. Dr. Baucom advises that this sense of security is essential for deepening emotional intimacy and ensuring that both partners feel secure in the relationship.
• Fostering a Safe Emotional Environment: The system also suggests that physical touch fosters a safe emotional environment where both partners feel free to express their feelings and emotions. Dr. Baucom explains that this safe space, created through touch, allows for open communication and vulnerability, which are critical for maintaining a healthy and passionate marriage.

6. Nurturing Sexual Intimacy

• Bridge to Sexual Connection: The “Save The Marriage System” highlights that regular physical touch serves as a bridge to sexual intimacy. Dr. Baucom advises that non-sexual physical affection, such as cuddling or kissing, can lead to a natural progression towards sexual connection. This ongoing physical contact helps to maintain sexual desire and ensures that both partners feel physically and emotionally connected.
• Enhancing Sexual Satisfaction: The system also emphasizes that physical touch enhances sexual satisfaction by building anticipation and desire. Dr. Baucom suggests that when partners engage in regular physical affection, it creates a continuous sense of closeness and intimacy, making sexual encounters more satisfying and emotionally fulfilling.

7. Strengthening the Marital Bond

• Daily Acts of Touch: Dr. Baucom recommends incorporating daily acts of physical touch into the marriage as a way to strengthen the marital bond. The “Save The Marriage System” suggests that even small gestures, like a quick kiss goodbye, a hug after a long day, or holding hands while watching TV, can have a significant impact on the strength of the relationship. These daily acts of touch reinforce the connection between partners and keep the bond strong.
• Maintaining Connection During Challenges: The system also advises that physical touch is particularly important during challenging times in the marriage. Dr. Baucom explains that when couples face difficulties, maintaining physical contact helps to prevent emotional distance and keeps the relationship strong. This ongoing physical connection acts as a reminder of the love and commitment that exists between the partners, even during tough times.

8. Cultural and Individual Differences

• Respecting Personal Preferences: The “Save The Marriage System” acknowledges that cultural and individual differences can influence how partners perceive and engage in physical touch. Dr. Baucom advises that it’s important for couples to discuss and respect each other’s preferences when it comes to physical affection. Understanding and accommodating these differences helps to ensure that both partners feel comfortable and connected.
• Adapting to Changing Needs: The system also suggests that couples should be open to adapting their physical touch habits as their needs and circumstances change over time. Dr. Baucom recommends that partners regularly check in with each other about their preferences and adjust their behavior to maintain a strong physical connection that meets both partners’ needs.

9. Role in Conflict Resolution

• Using Touch to De-Escalate Conflicts: Physical touch can play a powerful role in conflict resolution. The “Save The Marriage System” suggests that during arguments or conflicts, a gentle touch, such as holding hands or placing a hand on the partner’s arm, can help to de-escalate tension and bring both partners back to a place of calm. Dr. Baucom explains that this physical connection can act as a reminder of the underlying love and commitment in the relationship, making it easier to resolve conflicts.
• Reconnecting After Disagreements: The system also advises that after a disagreement, using physical touch to reconnect is important for repairing any emotional distance that may have occurred. Dr. Baucom recommends a hug, a kiss, or simply sitting close together as ways to physically reaffirm the relationship and move forward positively.

10. Physical Touch as a Love Language

• Expressing Love Through Touch: The “Save The Marriage System” identifies physical touch as one of the primary love languages, a concept popularized by Dr. Gary Chapman. Dr. Baucom emphasizes that for many people, physical touch is the most natural and effective way to express and receive love. The system suggests that understanding whether physical touch is a primary love language for one or both partners can help couples connect more deeply and fulfill each other’s emotional needs.
• Incorporating Touch into Daily Life: The system also advises that couples should consciously incorporate physical touch into their daily lives as a way to express love and maintain a strong connection. Dr. Baucom recommends that partners make a habit of touching each other throughout the day, whether it’s a quick hug in the morning or holding hands during a walk. These small gestures keep the emotional and physical bond strong.

Conclusion

In the “Save The Marriage System” by Dr. Andrew Baucom, physical touch is seen as an essential element of a strong, healthy marriage. The system emphasizes that physical touch is not just about sexual intimacy but encompasses all forms of physical connection that convey love, support, and emotional closeness. Physical touch helps to build emotional intimacy, reduce stress, enhance relationship satisfaction, and create a sense of security and trust. It plays a vital role in nurturing sexual intimacy, strengthening the marital bond, and resolving conflicts. Dr. Baucom’s approach underscores that regular physical touch is a powerful tool for maintaining a deep, lasting connection between partners, ensuring that both feel loved, valued, and connected throughout their marriage.