How does “Magnetic Messaging by Bobby Rio and Rob Judge” recommend dealing with flakey behavior over text?
“Magnetic Messaging” by Bobby Rio and Rob Judge provides specific strategies for dealing with flakey behavior over text, particularly in the context of dating. Flakey behavior refers to when someone is inconsistent, cancels plans at the last minute, or generally seems unreliable. The program emphasizes handling these situations with confidence and composure to maintain your self-respect and attraction. Here’s how “Magnetic Messaging” recommends dealing with flakey behavior over text:
1. Stay Calm and Don’t Overreact
- Why It’s Important: Overreacting or showing frustration can make you appear needy or overly invested, which can diminish attraction. Staying calm and composed shows that you’re confident and not overly dependent on the other person’s actions.
- How to Do It: When someone flakes on you, respond in a way that shows you’re unfazed. Avoid sending emotional or reactive texts. Instead, keep your response brief and neutral.
Example: If they cancel last minute, you might say, “No worries, we’ll catch up another time,” without showing any frustration or disappointment.
2. Mirror Their Investment
- Why It’s Important: If someone is showing flakey behavior, it’s often a sign that they’re not fully invested. By mirroring their level of investment, you avoid overextending yourself and maintain your value in the interaction.
- How to Do It: If they’re being inconsistent, respond with a similar level of interest. Don’t invest more effort into the conversation than they are. This helps maintain balance and prevents you from appearing overly eager.
Example: If they take a long time to reply or cancel plans, you can reduce the frequency of your texts and let them take the lead in re-initiating contact.
3. Address the Behavior Lightly
- Why It’s Important: Sometimes, flakey behavior needs to be addressed to clarify expectations, but it should be done in a light and non-confrontational manner. This approach can make them aware of their behavior without creating tension.
- How to Do It: Use humor or a playful tone to bring up their flakiness, which can make them more aware of their actions without feeling attacked.
Example: If they’ve canceled a few times, you could say, “You’re not going to cancel on me again, are you? I might start thinking you’re avoiding me!” This playfully points out the behavior without being confrontational.
4. Set Boundaries
- Why It’s Important: Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining self-respect and ensuring that you’re treated with consideration. It’s important to communicate that while you’re flexible, your time is valuable and should be respected.
- How to Do It: If the flakey behavior continues, you might need to set a clear boundary. This doesn’t have to be done harshly, but it should be firm enough to convey that you expect a certain level of commitment.
Example: After repeated cancellations, you could say, “I get that things come up, but if we’re going to make plans, let’s stick to them. I’d hate to keep missing out on hanging out with you.”
5. Make Them Earn Back Your Time
- Why It’s Important: When someone is flakey, it’s important to make them understand that your time is valuable. By making them work a bit harder to get your time, you reinforce your value and make them more likely to respect future plans.
- How to Do It: If they’ve flaked on you, don’t immediately jump to reschedule. Let them make the effort to suggest a new time, and don’t be too quick to accommodate them.
Example: If they suggest rescheduling after canceling, you might say, “I’m pretty busy this week, but let me see what I can do.” This shows that you’re not just waiting around for them.
6. Know When to Walk Away
- Why It’s Important: If flakey behavior becomes a pattern, it’s a sign that the person might not be worth your time. Knowing when to walk away protects your self-respect and allows you to focus on more reliable prospects.
- How to Do It: If the other person continues to flake despite your efforts to address it, it might be time to stop initiating contact and move on. This doesn’t need to be a dramatic exit—simply stop engaging and let the connection fade.
Example: If they cancel yet again without a good reason or follow-up, you can stop initiating plans and let them be the one to reach out if they’re truly interested.
7. Keep Your Options Open
- Why It’s Important: When dealing with someone who is flakey, it’s important to keep your options open and not put all your focus on one person. This ensures that you’re not overly affected by their inconsistency.
- How to Do It: Continue to engage with other people and pursue other opportunities. This helps you maintain a healthy balance and prevents you from becoming too focused on someone who isn’t fully invested.
Example: While texting with the flakey person, continue to explore other connections. This way, you’re not overly invested in someone who might not be serious about spending time with you.
Conclusion
“Magnetic Messaging” by Bobby Rio and Rob Judge suggests handling flakey behavior over text with confidence, composure, and strategic boundaries. By staying calm, mirroring their level of investment, and addressing the behavior lightly, you can maintain your self-respect and potentially encourage more consistent behavior. If the flakiness persists, it’s important to set boundaries, make them earn back your time, and know when to walk away. Keeping your options open ensures that you don’t become too invested in someone who isn’t showing the same level of commitment.
