How does “The Tao of Badass” suggest men handle dating in the workplace?
In “The Tao of Badass” by Joshua Pellicer, the topic of workplace dating is approached with a focus on careful navigation of both professional and personal boundaries. Dating in the workplace can be particularly challenging because it involves managing personal feelings in a professional environment, and if not handled correctly, it can lead to awkwardness, conflict, or even jeopardize one’s career. Pellicer offers several strategies for men to approach workplace dating in a responsible and emotionally intelligent way. Here’s how the book suggests men handle dating in the workplace:
1. Understand the Risks and Consequences
Pellicer stresses that before pursuing a romantic relationship in the workplace, it’s important to understand the potential risks and consequences. Workplace romances can lead to complications such as conflicts of interest, professional reputation damage, or even legal issues if the relationship is not handled properly.
- Strategy: Be mindful of the potential fallout from workplace dating, especially if the company has strict policies regarding relationships between employees. It’s important to weigh the risks, such as how it might affect your job or career advancement, and decide if the relationship is worth those risks.
2. Familiarize Yourself with Company Policy
Many companies have policies that specifically address workplace relationships, especially regarding relationships between supervisors and subordinates. Pellicer advises men to fully understand these policies before making any moves, as violations can lead to disciplinary actions or even termination.
- Strategy: Check your company’s HR guidelines or employee handbook to understand the rules regarding workplace dating. If relationships between colleagues are allowed, make sure you follow any protocols, such as disclosing the relationship to HR or avoiding conflicts of interest.
3. Gauge Mutual Interest Discreetly
In the workplace, it’s important to be particularly discreet when gauging whether someone is interested in you romantically. Misinterpreting friendly gestures or making unwelcome advances can lead to uncomfortable situations or accusations of harassment.
- Strategy: Pay attention to subtle cues of mutual interest, such as consistent eye contact, casual conversations that extend beyond work topics, or positive body language. Avoid direct or overly forward approaches in the office setting, and instead, take time to build rapport through casual, non-work-related conversations outside of the workplace.
4. Keep Professional Boundaries
Pellicer emphasizes that maintaining professional boundaries is essential when dating someone at work. Even if there is mutual romantic interest, it’s important to ensure that personal feelings do not interfere with your work or professional behavior.
- Strategy: Keep the relationship professional during work hours. Avoid public displays of affection or discussing your personal relationship with other colleagues. By maintaining clear boundaries, you can reduce gossip and protect both your reputation and your partner’s in the workplace.
5. Avoid Dating Subordinates or Supervisors
One of the key points in “The Tao of Badass” is the importance of avoiding power dynamics in workplace relationships. Dating someone who is your subordinate or supervisor can create conflicts of interest and can be perceived as favoritism or coercion by others, even if the relationship is consensual.
- Strategy: It’s best to avoid dating someone who reports directly to you or someone to whom you report. If such a relationship does develop, consider taking steps to mitigate conflicts of interest, such as one of you transferring to a different department or reporting the relationship to HR if company policy requires it.
6. Separate Personal and Professional Life
Pellicer advises men to keep their personal and professional lives separate when dating in the workplace. This separation helps maintain professionalism and reduces the risk of conflicts spilling over into the work environment.
- Strategy: Establish clear boundaries between your work life and personal relationship. Avoid bringing personal disagreements into the office, and don’t let workplace stress affect your romantic connection. Having this separation helps both you and your partner manage the relationship while maintaining a productive work environment.
7. Communicate Openly with Your Partner
Effective communication is key when navigating a workplace relationship. Pellicer suggests that both partners need to be on the same page regarding how to handle the relationship at work, including setting boundaries for interactions during work hours and deciding whether or when to disclose the relationship to colleagues or supervisors.
- Strategy: Have an open discussion with your partner about how you’ll handle your relationship at work. Agree on how to act around colleagues, whether to keep the relationship private or disclose it, and how to deal with any issues that might arise. Clear communication helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures that both partners feel comfortable.
8. Prepare for Potential Outcomes
Dating in the workplace comes with the risk that the relationship may not work out. Pellicer advises men to be prepared for this possibility and to have a plan for how to handle the situation professionally if the relationship ends.
- Strategy: Consider how you will handle the aftermath of a breakup in a way that maintains professionalism. Agree ahead of time with your partner that if the relationship doesn’t work out, you will both act maturely and avoid letting personal issues affect your work performance or interactions with colleagues.
9. Minimize Workplace Gossip
Pellicer warns that workplace relationships can often lead to gossip among colleagues, which can damage both partners’ professional reputations. To avoid this, it’s important to keep the relationship as private as possible and minimize public interactions that could draw attention.
- Strategy: Keep your relationship low-profile in the office. Avoid giving colleagues reasons to speculate by acting overly affectionate or discussing your personal life at work. The more discreet you are, the less likely it is that your relationship will become office gossip.
10. Handle Breakups Maturely
If the relationship ends, Pellicer stresses the importance of handling the breakup maturely and professionally to avoid creating tension or awkwardness in the workplace. The goal is to prevent the breakup from affecting your work performance or creating discomfort for your colleagues.
- Strategy: If the relationship ends, maintain professionalism and respect at work. Avoid discussing the breakup with colleagues or bringing personal emotions into the workplace. Both partners should agree to handle the situation maturely and continue to collaborate professionally if necessary.
Conclusion
In “The Tao of Badass,” Joshua Pellicer emphasizes that dating in the workplace requires careful navigation of both personal and professional boundaries. Men are encouraged to be mindful of company policies, avoid power dynamics, and keep the relationship discreet to minimize gossip and maintain professionalism. Clear communication with your partner about boundaries and expectations is key, and both individuals should be prepared to handle the potential risks and challenges that come with workplace dating. By separating personal feelings from professional behavior and maintaining maturity in all interactions, men can successfully navigate workplace romances while protecting their careers and relationships.
